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October 23, 2012

Life Lessons – Getting What you Want

One of my son’s favorite song lately is “You Can’t Always Get What you Want” sung by the Yo Dazzlers on Yo Gabba Gabba. He’s three; you have to give him some leeway here.

It is basically an upbeat song about learning to deal with the many disappointments a pre-schooler faces all day. Telling us that “it won’t help if you whine, keep on asking, or complain”, sometimes you just can’t get what you want. This is a very good lesson for a three year old.

Seriously, when my son throws himself on the ground and is gearing up for a fit because I won’t let him have ice cream for dinner; I start singing “No No No No No” to him. Of course now that he is used to this reaction, he has started singing back “Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes”. The kid is really too clever for me sometimes. The good news is it makes us both laugh and the fit is avoided. I have to admit, this is one of my favorite songs lately as well.

The life lesson here is easily applied to all stages of life. Sure as an adult I have a better handle over my emotions and I tend not to throw myself on the ground crying when I do not get what I want… but that does not mean that a fit is completely avoided. It is just a more controlled and grown up fit. There are times when I know I should be reacting better, but I just cannot manage it at the moment.

Having another child is a good example of this for me. I have always wanted more than one kid. My husband, on the other hand, is perfectly happy with just one. We have been over this time and time again. He is just not going to budge or change his mind. There is really no compromise here. It is not like we can just have half a kid.

I know this, and some part of me has accepted this. I love my husband and I respect his dreams and wishes in life as much as he respects mine. The problem is I want to keep asking. I am not as accepting of this issue as I should be. Whining, crying, and occasionally harassing my husband to change his mind is not kind, productive or helpful.

Holding on to this want is holding me back. By letting go and truly accepting that in this case, I am just not going to get what I want; I will open myself up new and better wants – new and better experiences. Life is just too short to keep focusing on the disappointments.

Here is where another (more age appropriate) song, with a similar theme comes into play.

I really do think that The Rolling Stones had it right with this one – “You can’t always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need.” This is the song I sing to myself when I feel my inner three year old coming to the surface. This is the song I use to easy my disappointment in my unfulfilled wants. It is a good reminder to stop and look at the big picture, to remember all that I do have and to be grateful.


  1. Hi! I found your blog linked up to the Empowered Momma hop and am now a new follower of your blog! Now the woman and mother in me wants to tell you not to give up on your husband. Maybe the timing just isn't right for him, however, I undertand that you can't beat yourself up on hopes that maybe one day and that marriage is a partnership and we all have to make different sacrifices and be willing to give and take.I can understand your struggle! Too bad you can't just get 1/2 a kid. lol.

  2. Hi Jenny! Welcome and thank you for the kind thoughts and understanding. You are right, there is always hope. We may not agree on having a second child, but we do both agree that perhaps through volunteer efforts, or even foster care in the future, we can still have more children in our lives. I just need to work on my patience, focus on the present and accept that what will be, will be. =)

  3. Hi Holly, your ability to stay focused and use the tools that surround you to keep positive is wonderful. Although your husband is not ready for another child, your view that there are other ways to care for more children is commendable. We need more of you in this world. Thank you for linking up to the Empowered Living hop, stay tuned I will be making a few changes this coming week. Hope to see you again.

    1. Thank you very much. Having the positive feedback is truly a treasure. I love your blog too, and I look forward to many more link ups! Can't wait to see what changes your have in store.



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