I have been thinking a lot lately about forgiveness. On the surface the act of forgiving seems like it should be a simple thing. You are wronged, the other party apologizes, and you forgive. The problem is that in the real world it never seems to work out that way. There are almost always over loaded emotions and hurt feelings involved.
The act of forgiving is in fact very complicated. A lot of the time that apology mentioned never comes… or comes too easily and the other party does not really understand why they are apologizing. For whatever the reason, hearing “I’m sorry” does not automatically flip the forgiveness switch in our brains or our hearts.
The thing that we must all remember is that by giving the gift of forgiveness to those who have wrong us, we also give the gift of release to ourselves. Holding on to anger or hurt feelings in the long run is only going to hold us back. Why waste energy building up resentment and grudges, when you could be using that energy for so many more rewarding acts?
Please note, that I am not supporting to instantly let go all your hurt feelings; or to push them away and pretend they are not there. You need to process the feelings, experience them, analyze the true cause, and then deal with them. If not, the next time someone wrongs you in a similar manner the hurt will be even stronger. By not dealing with our hurt feelings, the memory stays under the surface festering. It becomes a permanent sore spot.
The gift in forgiveness is allowing yourself to own your hurt and then being able to let go of it. Once you make that decision to forgive, the weight and pressure of holding onto your pain is lifted. By removing the pain; hopefully, with a little bit of good communication, you and your loved one will eventually be able to learn and grow in stead.
On a completely different line of thought... I am co-sponsoring a pretty cool giveaway at Eat.Enjoy.Live... hop over and enter!