On top of being a coward, I’m a people pleaser. I’ll gladly give up what I want just to make sure the people I love, respect, or feel some sort of obligation (even if misplaced) to are happy. It is hard for me to ask for what I may need, since that seems like it will almost always be taking away from what someone else may need. It’s a complicated cycle that does not always lead to my happiness. I suppose it does lead to a level of happiness, seeing the people you care for happy….. But it leads to that hallow happiness…. The one where you still feel like something is missing.
I have been struggling with making a decision for the past few months. I know I need to change something in my life. I know I can’t keep going… but how do you completely change the script when you are people pleasing coward? I mean really, I’m asking myself to step outside of all that I know. On top of that I’m asking my husband and my son to change everything they know too.